8 Mistakes to Avoid When Planning Your Wedding
You’ve dug into your wedding planning and may or may not have gotten a little carried away at times. It can be easy to overlook some details, afterall you don’t know what you don’t know. We’ve come up with 8 things you don’t want to forget or make the wrong decisions on.
Let’s dig in!
1. Making Plans Before Setting a Wedding Budget
We often think about the big ticket items – venue, photographer, videographer and caterer. But those small details like your lighting, transport, invitations and envelopes, wedding website, alterations – they all add up and they add up quickly. It can cause a lot of financial anxiety, so while it’s not the most fun process, making sure you’ve thought about all aspects of costs for your day is pivotal.
And we’ve got you well covered on this – check out our guide on weddings budgets here.
2. Overlooking the Guest List
Make your list, even get someone like a friend and a family member to check it over (of course – you will undoubtedly open yourselves up for opinions too so be aware). You don’t want to miss anyone important, but you also do need to be realistic as to what you can afford (great tips on that here).
I like to insert two rules to planning your guestlist.
a) Would you invite them over to your home for dinner?
b) How do you feel about working X amount of hours in order to pay for them to be at your wedding? e.g. if you earn $25 p/hr after tax (this is important – comparing apples with apples) and each guest costs you about $200, are you happy to work an entire day to have that guest there? It’s brutal, I know – but it puts it into perspective when you’re thinking about those 30 extra people and the 6 weeks of solid work to have them there.
3. Not Setting Expectations With Bridesmaids
This is such a big topic in the lead-up, so many brides being upset that their bridesmaids aren’t stepping up or being as excited as they expected. It’s important to remember that these are your best of friends (often lifelong friendships), and without having those discussions beforehand that assumptions on both sides are being made and affects on your friendship can be dramatically altered.
Before asking them, really think about what your expectations are. Do you want them to go dress shopping with you, help with any DIY projects (more on that one later), help with aspects of your planning, plan your hens party, be available in the days leading up to your wedding, or the day after (e.g. will they need to have time off work)? Setting those expectations early so you can chat over them and see what they can or can’t commit to is imperative – not only as their role as bridesmaids but your friendship.
If you’re part of any Facebook wedding groups, you’ll see the problems and hurt feelings that come with not having those conversations beforehand. These are
I did this for my own wedding. I have a dear, close friend who has some challenges that might have meant she couldn’t attend my wedding due to family commitments. So when asking her, I made it really clear my only expectation would be being there on the morning to get ready, and be there on the day and that I’d love her to be my bridesmaid, but I also understand if she can’t commit to that. While she declined as she couldn’t be 100% sure she could be there, I totally respected that. It’s my wedding but it’s not as important as what others are going through (and btw, she was able to make our wedding, and it was amazing having her there)!
Your wedding is important, but don’t let it overlook your connections and relationships with other people.
4. Oversharing With Family and Friends
We know you’re excited and it’s hard to keep things close to your chest – but be selective to who you share with because not only do you give away some of the guest experience and surprise, but you’re also opening yourself up for their own opinions and unsolicited advice.
No one needs any more opinions on their wedding than they already have.
If you want to share something and are concerned about the reaction (or if you haven’t had a great reaction in the past), then set some clear boundaries e.g. “I’m really excited about this, and I want to share it with you – I’m not asking for advice, I just want you to be excited with me”.
5. Assuming DIY is Cheaper
We sometimes see some couples over-extending themselves with endless DIY projects, or buying things thinking they’ve nabbed a bargain, without having a clear vision of what they actually want. Sometimes during our styling consultations, clients will bring items they’ve collected over time and wanting to use these, but unsure how because they don’t match the styling they’re wanting but also insist on using them given they’ve spent money and time.
We’ve found so many clients believe it will cost them less money to DIY aspects of their day, but often it costs the same (if not more) than to reach out to a pro. If you’re set on DIYing then chat about what you want to contribute to and keep it simple. You don’t want any unnecessary stress that will take away from your planning.
Less is more – or leave it to the pros to make sure your day is truly cohesive.
6. Micromanaging Vendors
You’re spending a lot of money so we can understand you want to tick things off and control all aspects. Remember you’ve booked professionals who understand your vision and it’s super important for them to do a great job for you. We love what we do – and it’s truly important to us to make sure we do the best work we can.
If you have any questions leading up, then of course ask away! If you have a scheduled meeting coming up, note those questions down and ask them then – this is what they’re there for.
Let your vendors do their jobs. This is their area of expertise, and you’ll have the best outcome if you allow them to do what they do best.
7. Scrapping The Runsheet
It’s important to have a timeline in place to allocate all the setup and festivities, while sharing this with your vendors so everyone is on the same page. Not everything will go to plan, but at least there is a plan in place!
I’ve been styling a wedding and before I went to leave I noticed the cake hadn’t arrived, and the ceremony was about to start. The couple didn’t have a coordinator (just one good reason to add this service on with us), the venue manager had to scramble to find who it was and contact them. Without that call, the cake would never have had arrived because the vendor had the dates mixed up.
Confirming details and timings with your vendors and note into your runsheet along with their contact details. Having a Plan B also is pivotal – if weather forces a change, are you prepared for that? What will that look like for you and your guests if it’s wet or too windy for different times of the day (e.g. you may have your ceremony or cocktail hour outside). Thinking these scenarios through and planning for them helps with forming expectations and lowering those stressful situations.
We have a great template to fill out for your wedding runsheet coming soon – so stay tuned!
8. Setting Unrealistic Expectations
We often prop ourselves up that our day will be perfect. We’re reaching for that perfection that is completely unrealistic in such a big event so be kind and easy on yourself.
My biggest advice is to set a realistic mindset. You can have the best day with setbacks, and if you’ve read about my own wedding story (if not, you can do that here), then you’ll know that a heap of unexpected events happened that we couldn’t have planned for. Being able to roll with it, laugh about it and see it for what it is can be very difficult if you’ve been banking on each and every detail being picture perfect. Life isn’t like that, and your day won’t be either – but it will certainly feel like the best day ever despite it all with the right mindset.
You can read more on setting expectations for your wedding here.